Developing a Rhythm of Self-Care
We are creatures of habit. The majority of our days are run by automatic processes in our brains. We might think we are in control, but our daily rhythms have a lot more to do with our actions than our good intentions or deliberate choices. This is why developing a rhythm that promotes mental health is so important.
Define your current rhythm
Before you can get started creating a new routine, it’s important to figure out what your current routine is. Do you wake up early, or sleep late? Do you lay in bed for awhile scrolling social media (hi, it’s me!) or do you get out of bed and start your day? How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? What is your rhythm for getting food, whether it is eating at home slowly or grabbing something quick through a drive-thru? How long are you sitting and standing during the day? When do you find you need time to unwind or “check out?” How do you do this? What do you do when you get a text message or email? What do you do before heading to bed? How do you go to bed, on the couch or in bed? Even if your life feels like it’s in chaos right now, chances are there is some type of rhythm you are following. Take some time and write it down. If you are unsure, spend one week where all you do is log what your days look like until you can get a clearer picture.
Choose one thing you would like to change
So often we try to change everything about ourselves in one shot. If life feels really chaotic at the moment, this can seem appealing because it gives us a sense of “control” over our lives. However, it also throws our bodies and minds into resistance because we have to engage our intentional nervous system all the time, and we are not wired for this. Instead, we want to work with our automatic system and slowly start to infuse change within it.
After you spend some time finding what your routine is, identify one thing you would like to change or add. This could be as simple as drinking a big glass of water first thing in the morning, adding a bit of yoga to your day, spending a bit of time reading something spiritual, or eating one helping of fruits or vegetables at meals. Start small.
Pair this change with something already built into your rhythm.
Find something you already do and enjoy, and pair it with the change you would like to make. If you enjoy snuggling in your bed for a half hour after you wake up, pair it with reading something spiritual to start your day. If you enjoy that Starbucks on the way to work, try leaving 10 minutes early and drink it in a beautiful place instead of on the road. If you enjoy playing Wordle every day, play it while drinking a big glass of water. The more you pair a change you would like to make with something you are already doing, the more likely it is to stick. The mind connects this change with part of its automatic rhythm, so the change will eventually become automatic too.
Keep adding small changes, and eventually you will create a new rhythm.
Small, consistent changes will add up in the long term much more than big, unsustainable changes. Small acts of self-care added to your routine can make a lot of the chaos seem much more manageable. They will help you stay in your “wise mind” more, so you are less likely to freeze or make decisions purely based on emotions.